If you know Coffee Meets Bagel, then you know Coffee Meets Bagel. If not, we'll put it this way: it's a dating app for women like you (and us) who want more substance, less swipe. Billed as the app for "singles looking for real relationships," Coffee Meets Bagel seeks to give women control over their dating lives, thereby cutting down on all those wasted hours of [insert a word like ghosting, catfishing, flaking, bailing, evaporating here]. 

This authenticity-first approach isn't a marketing ploy or even happenstance, it's a very intentional decision that three sisters made when they first explored the idea of creating an app—and it's precisely why Coffee Meets Bagel has garnered loyal followers first in New York and now, across the U.S. We caught up with one of the sisters, Dawoon Kang, to talk about how far Coffee Meets Bagel has come in the last few years—and how much farther they'd like to go.

I had a lot of random dreams [as a child].. Part of me wanted to be a pianist. I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to help people get better. I remember wanting to be a diplomat, too. Even when I was little, I was all over the place in terms of what I wanted to do—and in college, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to study.

I went into psychology because I took Psych 101. It fascinated me how different social settings can get people to act certain ways. Without really thinking, “This is what I want to do," I wanted to learn more. I started to study psychology, and I remember telling my dad, “I’m studying psychology!” And he said, “What are you going to do with that degree? Be a fortune teller?” I thought, “That’s kinda not how it works—I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’ll do something."

On Her First Job Post-College (And Her First Mentor)

After I graduated, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the degree. I knew I wanted to get a job, I had student loans, and I wanted to live in New York City. I landed on Avon only because my first job was in strategic planning. [I worked in] an arm of Avon North America Senior Management on strategic projects like sales, marketing, and supply chains, which were the three main functions of Avon. It was one of those jobs that really allowed me to utilize the critical thinking that I had acquired in psychology.

I chose the job because [of my future boss]. She was a superstar. She took me under her wing, and I learned a lot from her. She had an amazing way of being able to parse data and come up with creative, innovative solutions to move the business forward.

She [also] gave me the idea of applying to business school. Prior to that, I had never thought about it. For whatever reason, I had just thought I would eventually go to grad school and study to become a diplomat or something. She said, “I gained so much during business school, and no matter what you end up doing, I think you should apply.”

I decided to apply [becuase it would help me towards] potential careers in entrepreneurship or diplomacy. International development and finance were really interesting to me, and I thought if I got an MBA it would be easier for me [to be a diplomat]. That’s what got me to apply to business school.

On Business School

Stanford is really known for, and centered on, entrepreneurship. It has an edge on [entrepreneurship] over any other business school in the world. Obviously, that was a big part of my decision, in terms of choosing where to go. I dabbled here and there, and one of the things I'd dabbled with was being able to take something off the ground.

Even then, my sisters and I were talking about it together. In 2011, [my twin sister] graduated, and was like, “It’s probably now or never. We’ve talked about doing it, but never really like gotten on it. Right now, I don’t have a plan, but I think we should really try something.”

My older sister was a graphic designer, and I was full time at JP Morgan, so it started as, “Let’s give ourselves a year.” I was the point person doing the research, and we supported [my twin] in terms of the living situation—she was living out of my older sister’s apartment. And then, we basically started doing market research.

On Making a Woman-Friendly App

I would say, you know, when somebody asks me, “Who are you?”, a first identity that comes to me is being a woman. And another big thing is an American of Asian heritage. It’s a big part of my identity that I think about a lot—but I only thought of [Coffee Meets Bagel] in an activism kind of way later on. 

The dating industry is designed so that in order to actually “win” (meaning to be big and to provide a service) you have to know how to recruit women. This industry has always focused on recruiting and retaining female users.

Males, for whatever reason—I don’t know what it is—use dating apps a lot more. They sign up more, and they’re just more active. Women are not. And that creates this gendered imbalance and product limitation. So, from business needs, I thought, “We need to create a product where we speak to women.” It didn’t come from a personal desire [to build a woman-focused app, which is how Coffee Meets Bagel is often described].

What I always go back to [instead] is authentic connection. We want to inspire this generation of people to share and connect authentically to each other. It’s not just about women. It’s not about men. It’s a really unique value proposition in this day and age of Tinder, and even Bumble, and any other mobile dating app [where] these connections come down to immediate gratification.

How do you get users to look at as many profiles as possible, and match with others in one sitting? [That's] really fun and entertaining, but, ultimately, how do you create authentic connections? That’s what Coffee Meets Bagel stands for. Regardless of whether you’re a woman or man, gay, straight—what we want to help make happen is to create [those] connections for everyone.

Her Tips For Women In Male-Dominated Fields and Entrepreneurship

It’s important to go in with your eyes wide open. On the entrepreneurial side, I feel like there’s a lot of diversity in terms of founders. You know you’re a minority when you’re reminded of how “minor” you are all the time. But I don’t feel that.

On the investing side, though, there is a huge gender imbalance there and a racial imbalance there as well. That’s the reality we operate in. There are a ton of studies that have come out about why it is that, in Silicon Valley, or in the venture world, women only get 2% of the funding as opposed to male founders. Why is it that women founders are asked different questions than men? There are these biases in the capital raising part of the industry, so you have to go in with your eyes wide open.

What’s really great about being an entrepreneur is that you get to choose your own story. When I was at JP Morgan, all of my coworkers were white guys. All the senior employees were white guys. There wasn’t a day that went by where I wasn’t reminded of how much of a minority I was.

Everything from the way I talked, how I dressed—I was very mindful of that because I didn’t want to be stereotyped. With my own company, I don’t have to care about any of that. I only care about, “How I can build a great company?" or “How I can be a great manager and leader for my team?” The questions that matter are what I focus on. I don’t have to deal with anything else on a daily basis.

And, invest in mind-building. Life can feel like a struggle. Like you’re always working towards something more. And you’re always working against your own voice in your head that tells you, “This is scary. I don’t think I can do this, I don’t know how to do this. I'm not good enough.” It’s constant. Being able to train yourself so you can actually get away from that, and not let that stop you from pursuing what you want, takes training. It’s not a very natural thing for humans. So whether it’s coaching, meditation, or personal development programs—work on it. It’s not going to just come.

On What’s Next

You’re always doing something new, right? Today’s a new day with new things and experiences.

Right now, the size of the company is 40 or 45 employees. We’ve never been this big. I’ve never managed a company this size. Tomorrow, when we hire a new person, I’ll have never managed a company with 41 employees. We’re launching a new initiative where we’re putting together physical events for people to come together and share a full experience. I’ve never done that kind of stuff. Everything that you do is something new that you’re going to have to figure out. With that comes a lot of fun, a lot of stress, and a lot of learning opportunities. There are a lot of awesome ways to make an impact, to be creative, to be an owner—so really, it feels like every day is a gift. An opportunity that you can use. And that’s what really excites me.