Toxic Traits at Work! How to Recognize + Stop Toxic Behaviors

We have written profiles on what we call "anti-skills" in the past. Anti-skills are largely some of the more unflattering characteristics that all humans display at one time or another. It's icky, but it's true. 

Toxic traits, on the other hand, are the types of traits that feel more intentional. It's the difference between feeling a pang of jealousy that your work BFF got that raise instead of you and actively trying to destroy their reputation for having gotten the raise at all. 

Toxic traits are ugly, often intentional, and—you guessed it—toxic. What do we mean by that? We mean that you should take note of toxic traits and stay away from them.

Keep a cautious awareness about your coworkers and be careful to avoid "infection" by ugly toxicity in your work environment.

16 Toxic Personality Traits in the Workplace 

Sometimes, the signs of a toxic person will be very obvious. However, there are other toxic behaviors (ahem, gaslighting) that can cause hurt, confusion, and anxiety at work. Any time a coworker can trigger your emotion, damage your self-esteem, or cause upset, it's important to look into what's actually happening.

While we're not saying any feedback or interaction that triggers your self-awareness is toxic behavior, it's important to keep a dedicated self-awareness and awareness about your colleagues simultaneously. 

Here are some toxic traits you'll likely recognize, how they show up at work, and what to do when they affect you or those around you. 

Additionally, it never hurts to do an honest self-assessment, either. It's uncomfortable, but make sure that you don't exhibit any of these toxic traits at work. 

1. Gaslighting 

Gaslighters are the worst.

Gaslighting has become a pretty buzzy word, but it's only because it happens all the time. 

It's when someone tries to convince you that you're overreacting, that you misremembered something they said, or (and this is favorite!) that you're simply too emotional. You need to calm down! 

Psychology Today describes gaslighting as “a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality.”

Gaslighters manipulate to gain control over you. Once you begin doubting your own instincts, you’re more likely to believe whatever you’re told, starting a vicious cycle of manipulation, denial, and more manipulation.

Examples of Gaslighting Behaviors

Denying Reality

Example: A coworker consistently fails to deliver on promises or complete tasks but denies ever making those commitments. When confronted, they insist that the target is exaggerating or misremembering the agreements.

Selectively Withholding Information

Example: A manager intentionally withholds important information from an employee and later claims to have communicated it clearly. When the employee questions the lack of communication, the manager accuses them of not paying attention or being forgetful.

Projecting Blame

Example: When a team member makes a mistake, they shift the blame onto another colleague when the issue is raised. They may use phrases like, "I wouldn't have made that mistake if you had provided better instructions," making the target question their own competence.

Undermining Confidence

Example: A supervisor consistently subtly criticizes an employee's work, making comments like, "I'm surprised you didn't catch that mistake; it's such a basic task." Over time, the employee may start to doubt their abilities and feel incompetent.

Twisting the Truth

Example: A coworker spreads false information about a team member, creating a narrative that portrays them in a negative light. When confronted, the gaslighter denies ever saying such things or suggests that the target is overly sensitive and paranoid.

How to Deal With Gaslighters

Say it with me now: CYA.

Cover your a—well, behind. When dealing with a chronic gaslighter, be sure to over-communicate and get things in writing. Later on, when they claim, "never told me that!" you can shower them with receipts. 

Here's how to respond to nine common gaslighter phrases. 

2. Takers: Toxic Coworkers Who Take Advantage  

Takers take. That's what they do.

On the surface, a taker might be charming and charismatic, which is exactly how they get away with being a taker in the first place! 

A taker, for example, might shoot you a quick email to ask if you could help "finish up" something for them. Once you agree, you might find that you have to do all the work, but you proceed anyway. In the end, though, can you guess who takes the credit for a job well done? Yep, the work Grinch takes all. 

Takers are often greedy for every opportunity that presents itself in the workplace. They want the new clients, the big clients, the credit, the raise, the promotion—and they likely don’t care who they step on to get it.

Examples of Taker Behavior

Credit Stealer

This person consistently takes credit for the work of others. They may present ideas or projects as their own, neglecting to acknowledge the contributions of colleagues who actually did the work. This behavior can hinder the professional growth and recognition of those who are truly responsible.

Time Thief

An individual who frequently delegates their own tasks to colleagues or takes advantage of others' willingness to help. They may consistently rely on others to meet deadlines or complete projects, without contributing their fair share of the workload.

Manipulative Mentor

Someone in a position of authority who takes advantage of their mentoring or supervisory role. They might exploit the vulnerability of subordinates, using their position to gain personal favors, special treatment, or even engaging in inappropriate behavior.

Saboteur

An individual who deliberately undermines the success of others to advance their agenda. This could involve spreading false rumors, intentionally withholding critical information, or actively working against the interests of colleagues to secure personal gain.

Exploitative Leader

A manager or leader who exploits their position for personal benefit, such as favoritism, unfair promotions, or misuse of resources. They may manipulate the organizational structure to ensure their success at the expense of others, creating a toxic and unjust work environment.

How to Deal With Takers

Once you've identified a greedy taker, get your boundaries in place—and keep them there. We know you want to be helpful at work, that you want to lend a hand where you can. However, lending a hand to a taker will likely result in an avalanche of work with no payoff for you. Don't get involved. 

3. Victims

Before we dive into the "victim" toxic trait here, let's get a few things straight. 

Some folks at work do get a raw deal. Ask any woman of color who is navigating the impossible workplace maze of intersectionalism. When we are talking about toxic victims, we are not talking about these folks. Instead, we're talking about the person who, instead of owning a mistake or challenge, will proceed into a histrionic state. 

Examples of Victim Behavior at Work

Learned Helplessness

Blame Shifting

Passive-Aggressive Communication

Reluctance to Seek Help or Solutions

How to Deal With Victims at Work

The next time you come up against a situation that seems to be spinning out of control, ask the victim why they are feeling this way, without being accusatory. Try questions like: 

If all of this is out of your pay grade, try to avoid the victim at work. Don't engage in any negative speak or gossip with them. 

4. Blamers

We've talked about the "blame game boss" before, and it's a doozy! 

Your workplace blamers are always closest to the smoke, yet they never take any responsibility for the fire. In fact, they are all too willing to throw anybody else onto the flame. Okay, enough with the fire metaphors. You know who we're talking about here. 

Example of Blamer Behavior at Work

Refusal to Take Responsibility

An employee who consistently refuses to acknowledge their mistakes and instead blames others for their own shortcomings. This individual may deflect responsibility, attributing their errors to external factors or colleagues, even when evidence points to their own contributions to the issue.

Scapegoating

A situation where a person blames a specific colleague or group for broader organizational challenges or failures. Instead of addressing systemic issues, they unfairly target others, undermining collaboration and trust within the team.

Sabotaging Team Dynamics

A team member who, when faced with challenges or conflicts, points fingers at others to deflect attention from their own actions. This behavior can erode trust within the team and hinder effective collaboration.

Projecting Personal Failures

An individual who projects their own failures or insecurities onto others. For example, someone who did not meet their targets might blame colleagues for not providing enough support, even if there is no evidence to support such claims.

How to Deal With Blamers at Work

Stay away from them. If you need to work with a blamer (or, worse, if your boss fits the type) keep a paper trail. Make sure to over-communicate and get things in writing. 

For example, if a known blamer wants to have a "quick call" to discuss how to proceed, make sure to send a follow-up email summarizing what was discussed. They might hate it, but they won't be able to throw blame your way. 

5. Your "BFF" (For Ever + Ever + Ever) 

This is the lesson I keep learning. Your BFF is the first person to arrive at your desk on the first day of work. Hey, they might even have a gift in hand!

"Wow, this is the nicest person I've ever met!" Except, they might not be. I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not sure if every "BFF" I've ever met shares the same type of toxic trait. Also, sometimes you really do meet your closest friends at work. Just be wary. 

Here's what I can tell you about the toxic "BFF" from my own experience:

It's a bizarre experience—and one I've learned a few times. 

How to Deal With BFFs at Work

I don't want anyone to feel jaded or to cut themselves off from meaningful friendships at work. The "BFF" relationships I've experienced have all happened outside of the workplace, but I have witnessed them from the outside. 

Friendships should be multi-directional. Friends should be there for the big stuff and the little stuff. Friends should like you for who you are instead of trying to change your mind or assign you to their pre-existing agendas. This can be a really dangerous aspect of a toxic BFF at work. 

Make sure your work friendship stems from a place of authenticity. Is there anything to be "gained" from a friendship with you? Are they trying to build a case against the boss and need teammates for it?

Steer clear of gossip (we'll get into that in a minute), hearsay, and any other information you might be receiving from your insta-BFF at work.

Last, but not least, consider having a best friend at work, but maybe not working with your #1 best friend. It's a big difference.

Keep work and play separate when possible. 

6. Gossips

Gossips destroy the workplace. 

We talk a lot about toxic workplaces. At the core of so many toxic workplaces, or festering around the core, is gossip. We don't need to go too much into this, because you already know what gossip looks like. 

How to Deal With Gossipy Coworkers

Stay away. 

I know. Sometimes it just feels good to gossip, but save it. Those who spend lots of time gossiping at work are having their own issues—either with a person or the company at large—and you certainly don't need to be a part of it. 

A study on gossip as an advancement strategy found that, "Under many circumstances, negative workplace gossip is always used by many dishonest people as a tool in the organization’s political struggle." 

How do you deal with gossip at work? It's simple: don't. 

7. Arrogance

Be honest.

When you saw arrogance listed as a toxic trait, did a specific face pop into your head? Yeah, me too. 

Arrogance is tricky at work because... arrogant people seem to ascend the ladder quickly. Like many other toxic traits, hubris is contagious. If an arrogant leader trains an arrogant team, there's suddenly a workplace full of arrogant people.  

How to Deal With Arrogance at Work

Don't engage. Arrogance is a bad look and you don't need to try it on. If your workplace has been toxified by arrogant people, it might be time to examine whether you really fit into this "culture" anymore. 

8. Disrespectful

Sometimes we call this toxic trait by other names. For example, we might write disrespect off as the "culture" of an office or even an entire industry. 

Okay, while that's a really cool good old boy's club notion, there are literally hundreds of studies that show the importance (and success!) of teamwork, empathy, inclusion, honesty, and respect in the workplace. It's what makes an organization thrive. 

Common signifiers of disrespect as a pillar of your workplace include:

How to Deal With Disrespect at Work

Call it out—the first time and every time. We are huge proponents of setting your boundaries from day one. The sooner you do that, the less "I was just joking!" bits you'll have to endure. 

If disrespectful behavior continues, directed at yourself or others, consider heading to Human Resources. If HR is a dead end, you might look into whether your workplace qualifies as actively hostile. 

9. Bigotry

In our bubble here at Career Contessa, it's really difficult to believe that large companies still allow (and, in some cases, even encourage!) bigotry at work. It comes in all shapes and sizes, so it can be hard to identify at times. 

However, if you suspect a particular person is a bigot, you're probably right on target. At work, bigotry usually gets coupled with another favorite toxic trait we explored earlier, gaslighting!

If you try to call it out, you're met with all the gaslighting hits, "Relax!" "Don't be so serious all the time?" or "Lighten up, it's a joke!"

Nah. 

How to Deal With Bigotry at Work

It's up to you.

If you feel "comfortable" with letting one remark slide, then you can do that. If you want to correct one remark, you might. However, it is not your job to teach a grown adult how to behave like a human. 

In that case, don't deal with it at all. Report aggressions, "micro-aggressions," racist remarks, sexist remarks, ableist remarks, and whatever your bigot coworker has in their bag of tricks.

If someone feels emboldened enough to say things aloud or do things in a public, professional setting, they haven't earned their seat. 

10. Absolutely Apathetic

Apathy is a toxic trait in its contagiousness. 

Apathy at work tends to present as a lack of motivation, which is usually caused by a sense that your work doesn’t matter, that you’re replaceable, or that nothing you do matters. 

Imagine, for example, that your boss is completely apathetic. Are you really going to feel motivated to do a great job for someone who is so checked out? 

How to Deal With Apathy at Work

This is a tough one, depending on where the apathy is coming from. If it's one coworker that you really like otherwise, take the time to dig deeper. It's possible that they're struggling with something outside of work.

Suggest a lunch outside of the office or a non-work-related video chat to see if you can help. 

If apathy seems to have infected the whole team, can you suggest some team-building exercises to your boss? 

11. Entitlement

Employee entitlement is defined as “an excessive self-regard of one’s abilities at work linked to a belief in the right to privileged treatment without consideration of all the factors involved in determining rewards and remuneration in that context.”

Those with a sense of entitlement believe, quite simply, that they are owed certain things. While the reasons for entitlement vary, the behavior is reflective of a child. When they don't get what they "deserve," watch out. 

There are varying degrees of entitlement, but at it worse, working with an entitled individual makes things impossible. Here are some common phrases you might hear from an entitled coworker:

Entitled employees are, to be frank, annoying. Like the arrogant bunch, they believe themselves to be better than. 

How to Deal With Entitlement at Work

Unless they are directly affecting or mistreating others, try to ignore it. It's their own struggle, which might stem from some deeper insecurities or doubts. 

If their entitlement is causing them to undermine others, lie, or proactively try to take, then you might bring this issue to your boss or to HR. 

12. Dishonesty

Dishonesty comes in many forms. We're not necessarily talking about a coworker who takes extra staples home. We're talking about someone who is deceitful in weird, sneaky ways. 

At times, the most dishonest folks are also master manipulators. They do things that seem snakelike, but they have you asking yourself, "Wait, is this really happening?"

Dishonesty can manifest in these ways at work:

13. Judgmental

Raise your hand if you've ever been judgmental at work. If you didn't raise your hand, you better go back to toxic trait number twelve. We're human and we're always judging at some level.

However, when a judgmental attitude goes deeper, it gets ugly. A judgmental coworker might like to nitpick your work, make passive-aggressive comments, and generally cast a pessimistic sheen over everything. 

If the judgment is being directed at you, it hurts and undermines your confidence in yourself and your work.

 

How to Deal With Judgmental Coworkers

Most of the advice I'd give for these toxic traits is to try to let them slide—as long as they're not actively hurting anyone. However, maybe it's because we're getting further down the list, but judgment at work is usually just nasty. 

If someone makes judgmental comments about you or others, correct them. Whether it's inappropriate, mean-spirited, or just gossipy, don't let it stand. 

When you take the chance to actually call someone out on their behavior, there's a chance that it will put an end to it altogether. Here's a good, simple, tried-and-true response to judgmental talk, "That seems pretty judgmental, no?"

14. Jealous

One of the seven deadly sins is jealousy—and for good reason. 

Jealousy at work really serves nobody, least of all the person who is spending their valuable time and energy focusing on someone else's work or progress. 

We experience jealousy as a pretty honest part of being human. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others—in domains like attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, and success.

If someone is directing a more toxified jealousy at work toward you, look out for these common warning signs:

How to Deal with Jealousy at Work

Jealousy is harmless—until it isn't harmless.

If you suspect that a coworker's jealousy is actually harming your work or career trajectory we have a few steps you can take to root out behaviors driven by jealousy at work.

15. Vampiric 

If you've found yourself contemplating a wooden Crucifix purchase, you probably have an energy vampire at work. The energy vampire will be waiting at your desk (or in your Slack messages) as soon as you get to work.

By 10 am, you are tired—and you haven't even started your actual work. 

Energy vampires tend to be a pu-pu platter of lots of the toxic traits we've already explored.

Some common sub-traits of a vampire are:

Energy vampires are sort of like toddlers. They demand everything, and they're usually not even that cute.

Examples of Energy Vampire Behavior

Constant Complainers

Individuals who consistently focus on the negative aspects of work, colleagues, or projects. They rarely offer solutions and tend to bring down the team's morale with their constant complaints.

Chronic Procrastinators

Employees who habitually delay work, causing stress and frustration for those who depend on their contributions. Their procrastination can create a domino effect, affecting the productivity and energy of the entire team.

Drama Seekers

Colleagues who thrive on creating or amplifying workplace drama. They may gossip, spread rumors, or exaggerate conflicts, creating a tense and emotionally charged atmosphere that drains the positive energy from the workplace.

Micromanagers

Managers or team members who excessively control and scrutinize the work of others. Their constant need for oversight can make colleagues feel undervalued, stressed, and micromanaged, leading to a depletion of energy and motivation.

Constantly Negative Individuals

People who have a consistently negative outlook on projects, initiatives, or even the workplace culture. They tend to focus on obstacles rather than solutions, spreading a pessimistic atmosphere that can be demoralizing for the entire team.

Unconstructive Critics

Colleagues who provide feedback in a destructive and demoralizing manner, focusing on what went wrong without offering constructive solutions. Their criticism can erode confidence and motivation among team members.

How to Deal With Vampires at Work

Don't hit BUY on that Crucifix and garlic salt just yet. Instead, put these three vampire-proof tips into place. 

Protect your space. As with many of these toxic traits, don't give them an inch. Protecting yourself can be as easy as saying, "I can't talk right now," or "Is this about [PARTICULAR PROJECT] because I'm really focused at the moment."

16. Narcissists 

Studies have shown that narcissists can significantly affect and damage the entire team in a workplace. 

By drawing attention to themselves—and away from others—narcissists tend to prevent success in the workplace, especially when narcissism is found among folks in leadership positions. 

Common Traits of Narcissists in the Workplace: 

How to Deal With Narcissists at Work

Especially when it occurs in leadership, narcissism can be tough to displace. The best ways to deal with narcissists are by keeping documentation, gaining clarity when possible, and having strict boundaries.