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Episode 47: Signs You're Not In Control of Your Career—And What You Can Do About It with Erika Ayers Badan
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How to Navigate a Mid-Career Crisis

Mid-career got you down? You're far from alone. Here's how I'm dealing with my mid-career crisis.

Collage by Aliya Kamalova
If you can't count the "age" of your career with ten fingers, then you might be close to experiencing a mid-career crisis. 
As someone whose 20th high school reunion just whizzed by, I suddenly went from feeling like the new kid in the office to someone who is...in her early mid-career? 
Like many Millennials, I love my nostalgia. The original Twister (starring Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton, RIP) was an untouchable masterpiece. 1965 was 30 years ago. It was Berenstein Bears, not Berenstain. 
As I approach my forties, I still assume that people look at me with my two children and think, "Teen mom?" Spoiler alert: I have a Cruella de Vil patch of gray at my hairline. Translation: Nobody has ever thought twice about my status as a mother; one who is clearly in her late thirties. 
While I'm not necessarily experiencing a mid-career crisis, I certainly have moments when I ask myself, "Am I really going to work for the rest of my life?" 
How did this happen? How did I go from being a kid to this? What am I doing with my life?

Welcome to Your Mid-Career

When the Mid-Career Begins

If you're researching mid-careers, there are various answers about what defines the middle of your career. Mid-career employees, or those of us experiencing "middlescence," are typically between the ages of 35 and 54 or about 15 to 25 years into their careers. 
There's so much excitement at the beginning of a career. You're building your skills, applying them in real-time, making professional connections, and working up a career ladder. The middle is a little less exciting. 
In her article, "Is this it? The rise of the mid-career crisis", Jess Annison writes, "Marathon-runners call them 'the difficult middle miles', when the aches and pains are setting in and there’s still a lot more running before the finish line. Novelists have to work hard to avoid the “saggy middle chapters,” where the plot feels a bit thin, and it’s not clear where it’s all going."

Symptoms of a Mid-Career Crisis or Middlescence

The mid-career crisis is not too different from the mid-life crisis.
However, there are usually fewer hot red sportscars involved. The main difference is the uncertainty and frustration surrounding your job and career. If you think you might be experiencing a mid-career crisis, here are a few common symptoms you might be experiencing. 
  • Anxiety
  • Dissatisfaction
  • Restlessness
  • Lack of 
  • Workplace Burnout 
  • Chronic Reminiscence 
  • Depression or Mood Changes
  • Withdrawal 
  • Lack of Direction 
  • Indecisiveness 
  • Catastrophic Ideations
Recognizing the signs is the first step to tackling them. What's the deal, though? Are you unhappy in your specific career? Have you stayed at the same job for too long? Do you feel it's too stressful even to consider getting a new job? Do you feel like it's too late to make a radical career transition? 

Why Mid-Career Crises Happen

First of all, it's normal to experience trepidation in your career. On average, humans spend over 90,000 hours working. That is 10.27 years of your life spent at work. Not to be the bearer of bad news, but careers are only getting longer, as retirement is pushed off, on average 

Stalled Career Progression + Comparison Traps

If you begin your middle career years feeling stagnant or unfulfilled, you might be approaching crisis mode. Some people experience mid-career crises after realizing that their careers haven't progressed as they had hoped.
It's a natural and catastrophic next step to start comparing yourself to peers who seem to be more successful or fulfilled in their careers. This often triggers feelings of inadequacy and failure in your own career. 

Loss of Interest / Desire for a New Career Path

If you feel like your career doesn't do it for you anymore, it can feel simultaneously deflating and panic-inducing. Does this mean your career is no longer a fit? Is there another industry or field you'd be interested in pursuing? 
Explore why your loss of interest is happening and decide the best course of action. We have a few resources to help you explore your loss of interest: 

Burnout

The World Health Organization recognizes workplace burnout as a condition. Overwhelming workloads, chronic stress, and a lack of work-life balance can lead to burnout. It should come as no surprise that experiencing burnout might cause one to reconsider their career choices. 

Financial Concerns

Money is intrinsically tied to our careers. Culturally, money is also intrinsically tied to the notion of success. Can your job provide a nice car, a mortgage, and all of the lavish vacations you want to take? For better or worse, financial gain is tied to our careers. If your career isn't supporting your life or helping you move forward, it's easy to fall into a rut. 
Asking for a raise 1010

Family + Health Issues

Health concerns, either personal or family-related, can force individuals to reevaluate their priorities and make significant changes to their career paths. Similarly, the middle career is increasingly lining up with the timelines for many folks to start familiar with. Starting and growing a family often puts work life under a hard microscope. A working parent or caretaker must pursue a career that fits their lives. 

Company Restructuring or Layoffs

Organizational changes, such as layoffs, restructuring, or leadership changes, can cause a huge ripple effect. Even for those who survived a layoff, these events create uncertainty about job security and future career prospects.

Feeling Underappreciated or Undervalued

Not receiving recognition or appreciation for their contributions can lead to feelings of resentment and a questioning of whether their current career path is worth pursuing.

Changed Career Values

Mid-career individuals may reassess their personal and professional goals, realizing that their current career path no longer aligns with their evolving aspirations. The narrative around careers typically doesn't allow for much deviation from the original career path. However, it's completely fine and natural for values to change.
The same career and lifestyle that worked for an employee at age 24 probably won't work for the same employee at age 44. Change and evolution are normal, both personally and professionally 

How to Power Through a Mid-Career Crisis 

There are a few small reminders you can give yourself when trudging through tough times, personally and professionally. In these times, adopting a mantra might seem silly and surface-level. However, having a confidence mantra can do the trick during a panicked moment. Think of a mantra as the toothpick part of your Swiss Army knife when it comes to handling moments of crisis. 
Here are a few methods I use to pull myself out of the weeds, so to speak. 

1. Reframe Your Emotions

I wish I could remember where I read this, but this advice sticks with me and has been quite useful in moments of uncertainty and stress. 
The advice was to tell your brain what you're feeling. For example, in moments of nervousness, you can tell yourself, "You aren't nervous; you're excited!"
While I can't always fully bamboozle my brain, this works as a kind of mantra. You know what, I am excited. 

2. Point to Possibility 

Building off the last point, try to turn your intrusive, negative thoughts into positive affirmations. Don't rely on tired excuses to explain why something isn't working. It's easy to feel too old, tired, or inexperienced to start something new. Excuses are easy to make and often distract from real possibility. 
Instead of using the same old excuses as your safety net, point to possibilities—especially when they emerge from uncomfortable places.
  • What if you're not too old to start something new?
  • What if switching careers right now leads to all new opportunities?
  • What if you did go back to school to get a new degree?
  • What if this layoff is really the start of an exciting new chapter? 
Plenty of folks achieve success later in life, and much of that success is on a different path than they had been on! 

3. Remember You've Earned Your Spot 

I'm increasingly leaning away from the idea of imposter syndrome. If we feel like imposters, it's likely because we echo the limiting beliefs we were fed from an early age. Those voices reinforce systemic racism, classism, xenophobia, and other biases. Conveniently, these important factors were absent from the 1978 study that introduced the concept of imposter syndrome among high-performing women. 
Obviously, the voice is real, but it's not our fault that it exists. Sometimes, "imposter syndrome" is used to explain why someone might feel less than confident. This tends to put the onus on the person experiencing it to "deal" with it. It conveniently places the blame on the person experiencing the feelings of doubt. 
So, I'm not here to tell you that you're just experiencing imposter syndrome. I'm here to tell you that the world can still be a harsh place for many folks. Try to practice reminding yourself that you are in. You have earned your place. You will power through this moment, too. 

4. Talk About It

Talk this one out! I can assure you that many folks are in the thread of a mid-career crisis right now. Maybe that's why you're reading this. You are not alone. We are all out here; many of us are ready to unload! 
Talk to your parents. They likely experienced something similar. Speak with your peers, mentor, coworkers, and other trusted individuals. I guarantee that you will find common ground. Share your tips for dealing with these moments of crisis. Swap coping mechanisms, inspirational reads, and generally lend support to each other. 
confidence crunch

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