It's no secret that liking the people you work with makes for a better office environment. And having that one person you can confide in at work can make all the difference. Enter the term work wife.
While the phrase 'office wife' has been around since the 1930s, work wife was most likely coined in 1987. Originally used as a term for opposite-sex office relationships, in recent years, it has been used to describe budding professional friendships in all of its forms.
In the past, we've discussed creating healthy friendships at work, and disrupting female friendships with the authors of the aptly-named Work Wife. We're not going to advise on starting a work marriage, but instead, we're sharing how these relationships help you thrive, and how to celebrate these relationships every day.
Work Wife/ Sister
There is a bevy of research on how people with a best friend at work perform better. They are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs, can better relate to customers, produce higher-quality work, the list goes on!
Not only does a best friend change how you engage professionally, but people who have a 'work spouse' show higher levels of resilience and lower levels of burnout across the board.
Women specifically benefit from building strong female friendships in the workplace. A West Point study found that female cadets were more likely to thrive if they were in groups with other female cadets. PNAS also found that 75 percent of female leaders maintain an inner circle comprised primarily of women.
How You Can Support Your Work Wife/Sister
The entire basis of a work wife depends on "high levels of disclosure and support, mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect." None of those words work only one way.
Just like a real marriage, both participants of this 'marriage' have to put in the work. While it takes time and trust to build a strong two-woman team, little actions go a long way.
- Shout her out in a meeting: This might mean amplifying an idea she brought up or referencing one of her past successes so the company can use it as a precedent for future endeavors.
- Check in with her: We all get busy and when you are in the thick of it, it can be all too easy to let relationships slip. Remember that even when it looks like she has everything handled, it's always nice to hear there's someone rooting for you.
- Celebrate successes big and small: Friendships aren't just for venting sessions. Don't forget to celebrate each other's successes—both big and small.
- Every once in a while, go beyond the 9-5: Yes, we use the term work wife for a reason, they're your work person. But we are not just 'work people' and an after-work happy hour or a weekend text can go a long way in strengthening personal ties.
Work Mom
A work mom differs from a work wife or sister not by age, but by position.
We've all been there. There's someone at your job, in a higher position, that just blows your mind. Maybe it's because she has a different set of skills than you, or she kills it in a meeting—you can't help but admire her.
Instead of shouting "teach me your ways!" you've managed to learn a little more about them and are now on friendly terms. This is textbook work mom.
While some folks might consider this person a mentor, we think a work mom has additional qualities. She can help bridge the personal and professional and both of you will benefit greatly from this friendship.
How You Can Support Your Work Mom
It's well documented that having a mentor figure can be a total game changer for your career. They can be your biggest cheerleader, point you to valuable resources and connections, and provide invaluable feedback. But something that isn't as talked about is how supporting your work mom can build a more long-lasting, genuine relationship.
- Share what you know: This relationship can easily float into a one-sided exchange, so remember that even though she has a ton of skills you admire, you have skills too! Maybe it's sharing your unique perspective, your growing network, or your understanding of a hard skill, you can both add to each other's lives both professionally and personally.
- Help her network: Have you ever gotten excited about a networking event only to find out that no one can go with you? Stinks, right? Being that ride-or-die for your work mom will not only give her a confidence boost and a safety blanket at networking events, but it'll expose you to a new circle of people. Win-win!
- Stay in touch: Too often, you can create a solid relationship only for one or both parties to change companies. When this happens, don't stress, just make sure you keep in touch on a personal level first and foremost. All it takes is a quick text asking about how she's adjusting to the new position or sharing a new book recommendation to get back into the swing of things and make her feel like a priority.
Showing support for your work wife/sister/mom in little ways every day is a way to celebrate the significance of these relationships. It's also a shining example of what strong female friendships can look like for future workforces.
So let's build a future that is full of women supporting women in the workplace and beyond.
