Choose Your Purpose: 7 Questions to Help You Define Your Purpose

Although most of the people I know are relatively satisfied with their current jobs, many struggle to figure out their purpose and identify their ideal job. Sound familiar?

If you are not especially passionate about what you’re doing now (ahem, if you hate your job), your purpose may be unrelated to your current position—and it could even be something you never considered doing. I know, because that’s exactly what happened to me.

A few years back, I felt unfulfilled and anxious about my future. I quit my job in event production to redefine my dream career—and by reigniting old passions and interests, I realized my purpose. It’s changed my life. 

Today, I'm outlining some questions that helped me rebuild a more meaningful life with self-awareness and my personal well-being at the center. 

Table of Contents 

It's zooming out of social media and zooming in on your own big dreams. It's looking back at your own life, connecting with your inner child, and creating a purpose statement that is customized for you.

But first, what exactly do we mean by "purpose?"

Finding Purpose vs. Living for Passion

From a young age, many of us have been told by well-meaning school counselors, parents, and friends that we should "pursue our passions" or "find our purpose" to live successful lives. While those ideas sound nice, they are definitely easier said than done.

And often, we conflate "pursuing our passion" as "pursuing our passion and making it into our career." This can cause problems for all of us as our careers progress.

Let's unpack. 

First, the notion of "pursuing your passion" is essentially the same idea as pursuing a "dream job." It's the idea that the only way we'll feel fulfilled or happy is by having a job that allows us to do exactly what we're interested in. It creates the standard that work won't ever feel like "work," and that we've failed or settled if we don't find that "dream" role. 

Consider The Good Enough Job

As Career Contessa Founder Lauren McGoodwin explains, the "dream job" doesn't really exist. That's why we're advocates of the "good enough job."

The "good enough job" provides a healthy, balanced life and affords you a comfortable lifestyle. It aligns with your interests and values, and it's one that you find intrinsically motivating. It may not necessarily be your "be-all-end-all dream job." And that's okay. 

Finding your "purpose," on the other hand, is a little more nuanced. We think it's important to have a general idea of what your "purpose" is so that you can measure whether your current life (including your career, personal life, volunteerism, passion projects, and more) reflects your overall values.

Your life purpose is your personal mission statement; it’s how you plan to make your mark in this world.

Make Room for Change 

Something we all struggle with at some point in our lives and careers is change. Specifically, it's how your purpose changes alongside your life.  

For example, your goals and aspirations at age 24 look vastly different than your goals and aspirations a decade later. That is completely normal. An inner compass that may have guided you toward a high-stress, "hustle-hard" job earlier in your career might redirect if/when elements of your life change. 

Even if your life's circumstances change, your core values and purpose might remain intact. Instead of feeling shame over a new direction or living by someone else's definition of success, imagine your own adventure and your own destination. 

It's pretty exciting! 

To that end, if you're struggling to determine the right career path or feel like you're not living as authentically as you want, asking yourself the following questions might help define your purpose.

7 Questions to Help Define + Choose Your Purpose

These questions are designed to help you connect the dots between your interests, your values, your experience, and your strengths. They should get you closer to realizing your purpose—which should be the driving force behind a fulfilling career.

1. What Are My Intrinsic Strengths? 

This is one of the most under-utilized self-reflection questions out there.

Rather than only focusing on what you "love," it's helpful to consider what you're actually good at. These are the things that give you a strong sense of purpose when you're participating in them–the things that you look forward to.

We usually gravitate towards those things we find success in or the things we feel we're naturally gifted at—and this can be helpful when you're working on defining your purpose. 

Take the time to analyze where your natural talents lie. Are you an analytical thinker who excels at strategizing? Are you a detail-oriented person who has always been great at noticing the nitty-gritty that other people look over? Are you the neighborhood "connector" who's great at bringing people together? Are you a "kid at heart" who can be silly and fun with your younger family members? 

Take stock of these strengths. This might mean reflecting on the skills that you've been most complimented on, the times you've stood out in school or in your career, and the situations in which you've been considered a strong leader. 

To get the most accurate assessment of your top attributes, it’s also helpful to ask friends or family to answer this question—about you—as well! You can also watch this webinar with Career Contessa coaches on identifying your strengths.

Then, once you have a clear understanding of your strengths, consider the jobs or industries that might allow you to express or use them regularly. If you're analytical, perhaps a strategy position would feel like "you." If you're detail-oriented, a copy editing role might let you show off that skill. If you're great at connecting people, perhaps a job in recruiting would reflect that. If you're great with young children, an educational role might let you tap into that strength. 

In short, it might provide some clarity if you determine your strengths and then consider what jobs (or hobbies!) would highlight them. 

2. What Interests Would I Like to Explore?

When I first quit my job, I couldn’t wait to reconnect with interests I’d neglected over the years—such as writing, singing, and experimenting with healthy recipes. Dabbling in old passions reignited my creative side and led to the start of my writing career.

Create short-term goals to explore what fits into your life right now. Get rid of any limiting belief that has stood in your way.

Activities That Make You Happy

Start by considering activities that make you smile, laugh, and feel most fulfilled—including activities you may have enjoyed when you were younger. When we were younger, we were less jaded by school, work, and outside opinions: we liked what we liked. Try to tap into that younger version of yourself. It's likely she'll remind you of what you used to love, and you can find that again.

Skills You Always Wanted to Learn

In addition, remind yourself of the skills you’ve always wanted to learn. These could be educational, creative, or even athletic. For example, you might consider taking an improv class, learning Spanish, photography, coding, or surfing.

It can be really fulfilling to learn something new. It can also tell you a lot about yourself. What classes are you interested in enough to actually take? What skills do you care enough about to spend time developing? Knowing this can help you understand your interests so that you can infuse those into your life—and your career. 

Look into webinars, classes, or workshops that will help you develop new skills. If you’re not sure what you want to learn, a mood board workshop can help get your creative juices going and give you some fresh perspective. Here's a list of over 75 ideas—some of which are sure to pique your interest. 

Hobbies to Enhance Your Life

We're not saying that if you love to cook as a hobby, you should pursue a job as a chef (unless that's what you want, of course). We are saying that even if you have a full-time job, it’s important to make time for uplifting and rewarding activities. You’ll feel stronger and more confident, and you'll be able to participate in what you are passionate about as an avocation.

3. What Motivates Me?

What you find motivating may be a big indicator of your sense of purpose. We often talk about motivation in terms of productivity for those times when you're feeling Sunday Scaries or Monday morning blues. But motivation matters when it comes to determining a stronger sense of purpose, too. 

There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. The former is the motivation found within—it's that "something" inside of you that drives you and your actions. Extrinsic motivation is the kind of motivation that we find outside of ourselves. It might be a monetary reward or an accolade of some kind. 

We are all motivated by a mix of intrinsic and extrinsic motivators at any given moment. When it comes to finding your career and purpose, though, we recommend tapping into that intrinsic motivation as much as possible.

Why? Well, that inner drive doesn't "run out" or end the way external motivators can. Tapping into your intrinsic motivation may give you a greater sense of meaning in your work.

For example, if you find natural motivation—and a sense of satisfaction—in helping others, you might try to align that motivator with a job or company, like a nonprofit organization, that allows you to make a positive difference in others' lives. 

Knowing exactly what motivates you can help you set meaningful goals—goals that you'll feel genuinely great about achieving. It can help you live a purposeful life that feels true to your own authentic self.

4. What Do I Like About Myself?

Like the question above about intrinsic strengths, this one requires some real self-reflection (and some bragging!). 

When determining a clear sense of purpose for your career (and life!), you need to know yourself. Here's a helpful exercise: make a list of your unique, positive attributes. To do this, consider how you'd describe yourself to someone who has never met you. Think about how your loved ones would describe you.

List out some of the positive ways in which your classmates or employers have complimented you. Create a good, long positive list of the things that make you "you." (Bonus: save this list and look back on it on those days when your self-esteem is a little lacking...it's an instant mood boost!)

Some of these descriptors might overlap with your strengths. For example, maybe you're a "people-person" who always makes others feel comfortable, and you love that about yourself. That's great! Some of these traits may be more personal than the strengths that you've shown the "outside world."

Maybe you like that you're an introvert capable of great self-reflection. Maybe you are proud of your ability to pivot and manage change when it comes your way.  

Whatever it is: take note. Then, consider how you can play up those traits even more. This might mean a career change—or it might just mean altering your current role so that you have the opportunity to tap into those traits more often. It might also mean changing up your normal routine a bit. You might tap into your natural generosity by volunteering or spontaneity by trying new things more often. 

5. What Do I Value Most? What Are My Core Values?

Another helpful item to consider when determining your purpose is what it is that you truly value. 

What are your core values? 

These are the values that mean the most to you. They'll differ for everyone, but we listed many core values here, in case you want to get your ideas flowing. 

Once you know what your real, true values are, you're likely on the path to finding a deeper purpose. That's because these values usually inform everything you do—and your outlook on life in general. 

Whether you most emphasize empathy, dependability, resilience, accountability, or productivity, you can use those values to determine whether your current company or role reflects your own moral code to the extent that you'd like. Knowing your values—and living them—is a key way to ensure that you'll find joy in both your career and your personal life.

6. When Do I Find Myself in "Flow?"

Oprah made the idea of "flow" more mainstream during the last few years. She's a big advocate of the importance of tapping into a "flow" state—and finding activities that put you there. 

Essentially, a "flow state" is when you're so immersed in an activity you kind of "lose yourself" in it. Psychology Today calls it "a cognitive state where one is completely immersed in an activity...it involves intense focus, creative engagement, and the loss of awareness of time and self." 

This usually requires a task or type of work that you enjoy. If you hate math, for example, it might be harder to reach "flow" while you're working with numbers. On the other hand, if you love to write, you may find yourself "in flow" when you're in the process of writing a piece that just comes easily to you. It almost feels as if you're not "working" at all. 

Think about the times you found yourself in a state of deep concentration—and enjoying it. It might be when you were working on a big project requiring a lot of writing. It might be when you were painting or running or playing piano. 

The times that you find yourself "in flow" are the times when you're likely enjoying the process—the work or activity in and of itself—and not necessarily the end result. When you clue into what you truly enjoy doing and those times that you've been "in flow," your purpose might become easier to identify.

7. What Can I Contribute to the World? What is My Life's Purpose?

Finding your purpose means finding meaningful work for you, of course, but it also means identifying work that impacts the world somehow. For many, a purpose extends outward—it's a sense that the actions you take are contributing to the greater good.

What change would you like to see in your community or in the world? Based on that, how could you play a part in making those changes happen? Are there any nonprofits that you could get involved with? Are there volunteer opportunities in your neighborhood you could take on?

I started writing about the ups and downs of my career transition because I knew many people struggle when searching for work, and I wanted to help others feel less anxious and alone.

After receiving positive feedback and support for my writing, I realized that my own “purpose” is to help young women find strength, balance, and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives through my writing and personal experience. All of us have something to offer. 

Connecting the Dots

If you are soul-searching or reconsidering your career path in any way, I urge you to spend some time brainstorming your answers to these questions and writing them down with pen and paper.

When you’re done, try to identify repetitive patterns and themes. Ask yourself—how can I make more time for my interests? How can I develop new skills and use my talents to help other people?

Finally, it can be helpful to reach out to people you admire in different fields and “interview” them about their career experiences. Tell them about the patterns you identified and the work you’d like to pursue as a result of this exercise—and see what career advice they might have for you.

You can also use mantras, manifestation, and visualization techniques to really place yourself within your biggest personal goals.

Your purpose is your personal mission statement; it’s how you plan to make your mark in this world. Your roadmap to ultimate fulfillment will require self-compassion and flexibility for it to change as time passes. It will drive your decisions, strengthen your relationships, and steer you towards greater happiness and success.

It takes time to find it—so be patient and continue soul-searching. Keep learning, sharing, reading, and exploring—and I promise, your purpose will reveal itself!