The Most Annoying Office Jargon + Corporate Speak

Wait, what? If you've ever cringed at lingo in your workplace, then you've probably come across some form of office, corporate, or business jargon.

While jargon is intended to be used as a shorthand metaphor to ease understanding, at the metastasized level it is in a modern corporate office, it actually fuels more confusion (especially if someone is new to a team). 

Whether you found this article because you're desperately trying to Google search a phrase that your boss keeps using or you just want to be well-versed in office jargon, you've come to the right place.

What Is Corporate Jargon?

These are just a few ways that Webster’s Dictionary defines “jargon."

Office jargon is the use of metaphors, idioms, euphemisms, business buzzwords, and other unique verbiage in order to get across some sort of information in a corporate setting. Employees use corporate jargon in order to get points across more quickly or sometimes just to sound vaguely professional.

Why People Hate Office Jargon

The funny thing about jargon is that everyone seems to hate it, yet it persists because so many people use it. In fact, MyPerfectResume polled 1,000+ Americans to discover the most cringe-worthy jargon terms—and we see a lot of common offenders. 

1. It's Exclusionary

Jargon is unavoidable and can be useful when discussing matters related to a specific industry or niche. However, one of the reasons that people hate office jargon is that it pushes a sense of exclusivity.

If you don't immediately understand what we're saying when we say "offline" or "leverage," then you are behind or out of the loop.

2. It's Anti-Communicative

In a corporate office setting, workplace jargon can be perceived as unnecessarily making communication more complicated. And in a world of Slack, Teams, Zoom, and conference calls, adding a layer of miscommunication is not ideal. Communication is the most important element of a successful workplace, so it's crucial that it's clear. 

Your Top Ten Least-Favorite Office Jargon Phrases

We reached out to our Instagram audience to hear about your least-favorite office jargon phrases and wow—you all have some pretty strong feelings about office jargon. 

Here are some of our favorite submissions plus a few bonus phrases that we found particularly compelling. We laughed, cry-laughed, got confused, did some Googling, and commiserated with each new phrase that is unfortunately now in our lexicon. 

10. "It seems we have a disconnect." 

Translation: Why can't you understand what I am saying right now?

Referring to a miscommunication as a "disconnect" is a polite way of placing blame. In reality, it's often a passive-aggressive way to say "I don't think you're understanding what I'm clearly communicating." 

9. "Let's take this offline."

Translation: Let's stop talking about this right now.

As with any other jargon, context is crucial when using "let's take this offline." Going "offline" may be a dismissive way to brush your coworker off, but it could also be a sincere phrase to save a virtual meeting where two people start talking about something irrelevant to the rest of the team.

It means, "the thing we are talking about right now has gone off-topic so let's not waste anybody's time." Use this phrase when the conversation has drifted for more than a minute and others in the team are disengaging.

8. "Just following up!"

Translation: Why haven't you answered my email yet?

Why do we include the word "just"? Because it implies the idea that "you can't be bothered or mad at me, I'm just following up!" This phrase came up as a common favorite because it is a uniquely corporate email jargon that we never hear during an in-person conversation. Imagine if someone ignores you at a dinner party and you hit them with a "just following up." 

7. "I'm going to let you drive that bus."

Translation: That sounds like a lot of work...that I am definitely not going to help you do!

Conveying an annoying task in a cute way is quintessential corporate jargon. "I'm going to let you drive that bus" is a playful way to convey to the other person that you don't want to take part in a burdensome task. After all, there can't be two bus drivers. That would just complicate it more!

6. "Do we have the bandwidth?"

Translation: Do we have the energy and time to do this? (Okay, a little scary when we start to talk in computer-adjacent language about ourselves.) 

The literal translation of bandwidth is "a range of frequencies within a given band, in particular that used for transmitting a signal." Rejecting a project or person because you "don't have the time or energy" seems harsh. But rejecting a project or person because you "don't have the bandwidth"? Well, that's sensible.

5. "Happy [Day of the Week]"

Translation: I have no idea how to start this email, so here's a nicety. To be honest, we don't hate this one, but we understand why it peeves many people. It's just sort of empty. 

Celebrating a day of the week like it's a holiday is classic office talk. "Happy Thursday!" lessens the blow in an email where you're about to request a bunch of information. "Happy Monday!" brings a sense of unity to the workplace trenches. And "Happy Friday!" makes people go absolutely wild AKA nod politely and respond "hah, so true." 

4. "Let's parking lot this."

Translation: I'm done talking about this.

There seems to be a common theme of vehicle-speak translating to office jargon. Parking lotting (sounds horrible) is temporarily putting something at pause. 

3. "Let's unpack." 

Translation: There's potentially a big problem and we need to tread very lightly to figure it out.

Unpacking is what one does to anything complicated. Unpacking implies patience, understanding, and organization. However, this phrase can be perceived as passive-aggressive if the matter at hand is not actually complicated. 

2. "Help me understand."

Translation: I literally have no idea what you are talking about.

Again, context is key here. By saying, "help me understand" instead of "I don't understand what you're saying," you're putting yourself in the submissive position. You're the person that needs the help. This phrase is paired well with "I think we have a disconnect."

1. "Per my email..."

Translation: I typed 17,000 drafts of this email threatening to end you, and this is the polite version.

"Per my email" is a phrase one can use in order to redirect someone to a previous conversation. It's also a way of showing proof or a paper trail if the other party is accusing you of doing something or not doing something.  

More Corporate Jargon + What It Actually Means

Those were just a few phrases submitted to us, but corporate jargon is a beautifully complex language, and we couldn't help but define a few more terms.

Let's start with one of the more elegant phrases...

Brain Dump

A brain dump is a transfer of knowledge from your mind to the rest of the team. It's a way to get together with your colleagues to brainstorm and declutter thoughts. When brain dumping, there are no bad ideas. 

New Normal

This is a phrase we hear increasingly in a "post-COVID" world. It's when a previously unfamiliar situation has now become the standard. Remote work is the new normal. Zoom calls are the new normal. Hybrid work is the new normal.

Paradigm Shift

A paradigm shift is a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions. It is a total shift in point of view. In a business setting this could refer to a change in corporate values or strategy.

Thought Shower

A thought shower is a discussion in which new ideas are generated and discussed. It's a different way to say brainstorm. A thought shower utilizes the creativity and minds of a group of people to solve a problem or create a new idea. 

Low-Hanging Fruit

Low-hanging fruit is anything, whether it's a person, project, or item, that can be easily obtained with little effort. In corporate speak, going for the low-hanging fruit can be considered the best practice for a company. Why not enter a market that has low competition or low cost? In a creative brainstorming setting, going with the lowest hanging fruit may mean reaching for a trite idea that's too obvious or overdone. 

Silver Bullet

A silver bullet refers to something that provides an immediate solution to a given problem or difficulty. It's a "secret weapon" that solves a problem that seemingly has no solution. The term silver bullet comes from the idea that a bullet made of silver is the only way to kill a werewolf.

Boil the Ocean

The phrase "boil the ocean" means to take on an impossible task in order to make a project unnecessarily complicated. If you're attempting to boil the ocean, you are attempting to achieve something way too complicated.